and i wouldn't/shouldn't be all that tired now, but i forced myself to get up at 6 and go for a run this morning. it was definitely a disordered decision vs. a healthy one (i ran yesterday morning as well). i rationalize by telling myself 'well, it sure beats other kinds of disordered behaviors', and while that is true (at least as far as the physical effects on my body), it's still unhealthy (at least, mentally).
still, the weather was beautiful (still barely crisp at 6 in the morning), and i fueled myself with a granola bar before heading out. and now... some almond butter...
flax waffles w/ banana, almond butter, and a smidgen of pumpkin butter on 1, pumpkin seeds, mango, and the rest of the once huge bag of cherries
i'll post some non-breakfast pics here eventually... but i'm running late and haven't packed lunch yet... i think i'm going to do a laughing cow + bell pepper sandwich and a side of cottage cheese and veggie chips - you can picture it yourself! laterZzzZz!
Sometimes it just all get so complicated. Like I question everything I do. I can relate to this assessment of something that seems healthy to be motivated by the disorder. At this point in recovery though, I sometimes wonder, is everyone disordered? I guess it`s just a slippery slope and one to watch out for. You are so aware of yourself which is great. Try not to be too hard on yourself
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