Friday, August 21, 2009

back for an appearance

i'm not "gone" per se, but perhaps a bit conflicted. i did enjoy this blog while it was active... but now it's a bit too "public" to those in my life who might read this blog just to check up on me. and i don't mean that to offend, it's just that once i realized that this blog had to be more than just meal accountability, i got scared to tell the world, anonymous and not-so-anonymous, what i was really feeling underneath. blogs are tricky like that. and recovery is damn hard.

if any of you have dealt w/ a similar situation, let me know... i'd love to hear your thoughts.

my breakfast is in a bit of a rut these days, but i still love it. i recently discovered sunflower seed butter...

ezekiel cinn-raison english muffin, 1/2 with sunbutter & banana, 1/2 with sunbutter, pumpkin butter, & banana!, cottage cheese, strawberries, coffeeeee

that's 1/2 of a banana... love the thin slices mmmm...

i can't believe it's 8:10 already this morning... i'm incredibly late. i'll ponder the blog situation as i hurry to get ready for work...


  1. im really glad you updated. ive thought about you the past month, and wondered and worried a bit.

    i knew this issue would come up when i started my own blog. in a way, it was a way for me to just own my issues, to force them out there and if people want to accept me for all of me, or reject me for my problems...that is their choice. i put myself out there, not broadcasting per say, but "there" for the knowing, and i made sure to do it without shame. still, there is of course some shames and stresses, but it is better for me to be totally honest with anyone and everyone. hiding was a bad bad thing for me, ED held that and used it to keep me down.

    on the other end of the spectrum, i know some people do read my stuff to "check" on me, and i partly blog for that reason. i understand they do not know how to approach me or ask what is happening, and in a conversation, im not good at articulating. so for these caring people in my life, i write so they can understand if they choose to read.

    again, it is readers choice. i do what i do and leave the judgment to others. it is off my head, and i can usually feel pretty strong in that.

    not sure if this is the same you are feeling but that is how i feel.

    everyone has "issues" and "things." sometimes our "things" might be a little more misunderstood by others and even ourselves. if public blogging/writing helps YOU through it, dont let anyone take that from you. your recovery is more important.

    gosh i hope this made sense...

  2. I'm glad you decided to post again. Being so honest with so many people is a scary thing. I used to be a very closed person. A new relationship broke down the walls I had been building for years. My boyfriend encouraged me to start blogging because he knows I hide stuff inside and it creates turmoil. I don't know what's best for you, but I do know that I love reading your blog and being able to sympathize with you. I really don't know much about you, but it's nice to know other people are going through similar struggles. For me, blogging is a wonderful outlet to some negative thoughts. I think being 100% honest is best, but like I said, I don't know what's best for you. I do hope you keep posting, even if it's just what you're eating everyday... Or even if you stopped posting pictures and just wrote what you felt. Good luck!

  3. hey girl...still checkin' on are you doing?

  4. What ever you decide, I wish you well :)

  5. I wish you the best, Rebecca. I know how hard it can be to be open with so so many people.

    Your breakfast looks very tasty! I have always wanted to try sunflower seed butter.

    Good luck!


  6. I'm appreciate your writing skill.Please keep on working hard.^^