is every night going to be this hard?!

tonight wasn't fun. i seriously contemplated skipping dinner, fearing that i wouldn't be able to eat without wanting to purge afterwards... but i knew that skipping dinner would open up a whole new territory i didn't want to explore (been there, done that). finally at 7:30 i threw together leftovers, which were somewhat tasty (i think) but i didn't really enjoy them:

toasted whole wheat pita filled w/ a mixture of leftover lamb, quartered grape tomatoes, bell pepper, and tzatziki... and leftover brussel sprouts w/ raisins & toasted sunflower seeds

and well, honestly? i do want to purge, but i don't think i will. i don't get why the past few days have been so hard come dinnertime. at work today we had our "taste of ny state" in the afternoon, and perhaps that filled me up more than my usual afternoon snack, but i know i really didn't have all that much more than any other day, since everything was bite-sized. i had: 2 slices of apple, 2 cubes of cheese, 2 bite-sized pieces of buffalo wings, 2 tiny bites of cheesecake, and a 2 oz. cup of grape juice.

i wish i could come home to dinner with someone... dinner just feels like it ought to be shared, and it gets tiresome eating alone after a while.