3 meals.

today was the first day that i had 3 meals, without snacks, since i started this blog. normally i like to spread things out a bit, but things just didn't happen that way today.

after my run (i ran around 2 miles and walked 1), i went to the coffeeshop for some lunch and work. i had an iced latte, 1/2 of a very large deviled egg & veggie wrap, and a bag of sunchips. my dinner meeting was at 5 so i knew i wouldn't want an afternoon snack.

i was nervous about going to maggiano's, but it turned out to be family style, like my sister had suggested. this was a huge relief, because i was able to put what i wanted on my plate .

and i think i did really well. i started out with a small amount of spinach/gorgonzola salad, and 1 piece of toast with hot spinach artichoke dip (YUM). i did totally break my promise to myself from friday in that i had a small glass of wine, but i knew i'd be there for quite a while and i was feeling pretty good/in good company... i really like the group of women who work at the yarn store. the food was spread out (meaning there was a fair amount of time between appetizer / dinner / dessert), and that was comforting to me, as i was able to gauge my hunger. i tasted a bit of each entree-- 1 cheese ravioli, a beef cannelloni (a rolled-up pasta tube with beef and a creamy sauce), a small amount of italian sausage lasagna, and a piece of chicken saltimbocca. it was fun to try different things, and i know that my portions of each were rather small, so that altogether it likely totalled a fairly average (if not slightly richer) dinner. for dessert we ordered a s'mores torte with homemade marshmallow, and i thoroughly enjoyed the serving that i took.

i was definitely very conscious of my eating, but not really in a bad way. actually, it was almost a good thing... i was conscious of the fact that i didn't deprive myself, as i often have in restaurant situations. i couldn't help but observe how the others were eating... seemed like most of the others were eating much larger portions, and at the end there were the usual comments like "well i won't be eating again until april" or "i am soooooo stuffed," which were slightly annoying but not really triggering. i feel like i accomplished something tonight. of course i am also starting to freak out slightly about my body image, which is a bit of a threat to my recovery right now, and i'm considering calling my nutritionist to set up a quick weigh-in this week, as we don't have an appt. this week (she's away until wednesday, and i normally see her on tuesdays).

wow i am sleeeeeeepy.