blahness, cont.

the blahness has continued from this morning. i think perhaps last night's experience (aka worst.date.ever.) may have affected me more than i initially thought.

i ate this shortly after lunch, just for some sugar:

dried pineapple ring. better than most candy.

between about 3 and 5 i was feeling very triggered, with a very strong urge to binge/purge. i took my laptop with me to BED and chatted with a few friends, read a few people's blogs, and just holed myself up until i was feeling brave enough to emerge.

at around 5:15 i thought i might be getting hungry, but i wasn't sure. i decided to wait a while. it's now 6:30 and i decided to have dinner:

rrrrepeat!

leftover poached salmon pasta with yogurt & dill, served over herbed greens

this really is a great recipe.

i was looking at my dinner plate, thinking about how i won't take the rest of the leftovers to work with me tomorrow... WHY?! because it looks HUGE and i would feel like a PIG. and i'm sure people would comment (not on the size, but just because it looks GOOD!) and so i'd attract attention, which i wouldn't want, because obviously i'm already telling MYSELF that i'm a PIG (at least i'm able to see that). the irony is that most likely no one thinks i'm a pig (except, ahem, myself), and further, this is quite a healthy dish with quite a reasonable portion (2 oz. pasta, roughly 3 oz. salmon, veggies, yogurt...).

i still feel like yuck.