Friday, May 1, 2009

therapy this morning: crying likely

i'm still very much inafunk. last night i just didn't want to keep fighting, and so i sort of gave up and caved in to the disorder. and i feel and and . i only half regret/ted it, because honestly, it provided some comfort. and i'm not sure what to make of that. i'm scared that it seems like i'm slipping close to 1x/week these days. i guess this is what active recovery is...

i put together a cheery breakfast, but it's not doing much for the mood. i wasn't really hungry for it, either, but i went for a run this morning so i know i need the fuel.

ezekiel 4:9 english muffin, packet justin's maple-almond butter, 1/2 banana, 5 small strawberries (all gone!), roughly 1/2 c cottage cheese


someone on my team @ work is providing lunch as a thank you today, so that'll probably be pizza or something. i'm not all that worried about it. the good thing about my slips these days is that i know that they are emotional, not physiological, and so it is fairly easy to bounce back from them.

happy latte day everyone

i'm digging the gmail emoticons:

especially the space invaders guy:


  1. You have soo much to be proud of. The book I just finished told me that this is all part of the process. The slips are necessary. Just think about how you are viewing them now. A lot has changed since you were living the life of b&p regularly. A LOT. be proud of that. I hope that the session goes well and that you have a nice day.

  2. What's that third emoticon? You felt angry and sad and ... sneaky? I *think* it seems normal to feel some comfort from a purge because it at some point it might have developed as a coping mechanism. At some point it worked. So it's hard not to do it if you feel like you "need" it. Not sure if that makes sense...

  3. angry sad and... slightly irritated w/ the satisfaction. amy, you are very right... at some point it worked, that's for sure...