Monday, April 6, 2009

ha! beat the rain!

i was slow in getting ready this morning, and didn't head out for my run until close to 7. there was a very light drizzle (more like pitter patter), and i was actually enjoying the mist, of being one with nature (and my ipod...). but about 2 minutes before i was back to my apartment, it started raining... and so i pumped my little legs as hard as they could go, and made it inside just in time.

i surprised myself by not wanting oats/oat bran. i was in the mood for waffles so...

2 maple-cinn waffles (bought a box of these instead of my usual 365 flax), one with a smidgen of crunchy pb, apple butter, 2 candied walnuts and 1.5 dates, snipped... and the other with pecan butter and banana, all drizzled with maple syrup. + black seedless grapes

i packed a mini smorgasbord for lunch:

leftover orange-jicima-carrot slaw with roasted pumpkin seed dressing, a hard-boiled egg, and carrots, peppers, and whole wheat pita to dip in roasted garlic hummus and tzatziki!

putting all this together, i think it is fairly balanced. and for a snack, i packed:

chobani strawberry, and strawberries!

my lunchbag was bursting at the seams today...

ooh, just made it!

despite some negative body image at times, i'm feeling really good about my progress these days. for the most part, food and weight is NOT on my mind, and i feel that more and more, i am able to listen to my body. also, sometimes it is nice to just have a treat-- if someone offers something tasty, for example-- even if it isn't on "the plan" (which doesn't really exist anymore anyway), and i feel OK at times to enjoy something even if it's not directly related to hunger (it's not a sin to enjoy a small treat simply for pleasure... wow, what a concept!). this is really huge for me, and sometimes it is even hard to believe, since i've spent my entire adult life calorie counting (including during treatments #1 & 2-- any "expert" in the field of EDs should know that telling patients that they need to stick to a rigid meal plan based on calories-- not to vary by more than 5 calories-- is basically prescribing RELAPSE. FU dr. garner ). i feel like i really could go out to eat anywhere and be ok with it, and that is a huge freedom in terms of socializing. this doesn't mean i'd be ok with a week away from my normal routine/foods (yet!), but for a meal or two, no prob.

wow, this song is catchy (pony/it's OK by erin mccarley)

It`s time for you to prove,
Within your ruby shoes
You deserve a smile with no regret,
Look at you
Kicking off your shoes,
Dancing for the world to see,
You got the power to believe,
Open up and see,
And I`ll be free and fly away,

Go on, go on, go on, the stars are watching,
Just say, just say, just say, what you`re feeling,
You know, you know, you know, you gotta take a bow and do it your way,
It`s okay, ladadadadadadadada, it`s okay, ladadadadadadadada
It`s okay, ladada ladada, it`s okay, ladadadadadadadada


  1. I used to calorie count obsessively! And I loved watching that number get lower and lower everyday. I felt so empowered. Glad that's over....
    Btw, waffles, PB, and banana is one of my favorite breakfasts!
    Hope you have a great day!
    -Clare, Clare's Two Steps Forward

  2. yeah... feeling empowered despite being quite frail and unhealthy... quite a conundrum (and i totally get what you mean) =)

  3. It sounds like you are doing great! I`m so happy for you!

    I wanted to tell you that my morning news show did a segment this morning about Orthorexia. THe woman who wrote this book called "it's not about the food" said she was vegetarian as a way of control.

  4. I just noticed you had the plate that matches my mug =) Target has all kinds of things from the line!

  5. clare--

    YES! i <3 their orla kiely line!