Friday, April 10, 2009

it's amazing how. . .

. . . numbers can mess with your head. i was putting away my leftovers from dinner, and the rest of the stir-fry fit into 2 containers, each roughly the amount that i had eaten for dinner. and suddenly i remembered a number i had seen from the recipe that i had based my creation on: serves 4.

and so i thought to myself: did i eat too much? does this mean i shouldn't have the (small) treat i was contemplating for dessert?

hold on. how did i feel BEFORE i remembered the number. did i feel overly stuffed? NOPE. did i feel like i had overeaten? NOPE. and well, those are probably some pretty good clues to indicate that i did not, in fact overeat.

and so i decided a treat was OK, after all! take that, stupid ed.

"so delicious" mint ice cream sandwich

this is a SOY "ice cream" sandwich. i did not pick it for the soy, but for the mint-chocolate that i was craving while grocery shopping. at the store my only 2 mint-chocolate choices were: chocolate-mint frozen yogurt and these, and while i would have loved mint-chocolate frozen yogurt, i really didn't want chocolate-mint (chocolate based). so i picked these up. and i must say, they are pretty darn good!

i'm feeling more and more confident after wednesday's slip, and there is actually a relief in knowing that the binge/purge was NOT hunger related. i had and have no urge to overeat on treats (my sister asked me what i had binged on, and i told her... bread... soup... ). in the past my binges were most definitely a mix of hunger AND emotion, but now i think they are all emotion, and perhaps a way of grieving the disorder and/or not wanting to let go completely to what was for so long my security blanket. ha, i cannot say/type/think the word security now without hearing bon qui qui suh-ker-i-tee in my head. and on that note, i think i shall go watch some friday night tv!


  1. wow that's great that you could just kick that negative thought so quickly!

    Have a great weekend!

  2. great work ignoring those numbers... how can a recipe know how much food YOUR body needs anyway?

    I feel the same way about my binges, and I was enlightened by what you said. MAybe if I can better deal with my emotions I can stop focusing on food.